It was Monday when that familiar, nagging feeling showed up. You know the one - a tightness in your chest, a buzz in your mind, and a sense that something is off. The worst part? I had zero clue why. None. Nada. Zilch.

Naturally, my first instinct was to overanalyse. But then, a YouTube Short popped into my mind (because clearly, that’s where the modern-day philosophers hang out). The video said something intriguing: intense emotions often carry a message. They’re trying to tell you something.

So, I thought, Okay, anxiety, what do you want from me? I sat with it for a whole five minutes, waiting for some deep revelation to hit me.

And guess what? Nothing. Not even a faint whisper of insight. Well, thanks a lot, YouTube. Super helpful.

So there I was: still anxious, still clueless, still waiting for answers.

Enter Jessie: Life Guru Extraordinaire

This little anxiety episode reminded me of a conversation I had with Jessie the other month. And no, don’t ask me which month - time is a blur, and my memory is held together by gaffer tape and vibes at this point.

Jessie is one of those magical people who casually drops life-changing wisdom like it’s no big deal. She’d flown in from LA for a retreat she was hosting, and we met up for coffee in London. Obviously, no deep, philosophical chat can happen without caffeine - it’s like an unspoken rule.

During our chat, Jessie introduced me to the ladder of emotions.

The Ladder of Emotions: A Crash Course

Imagine your emotions as a ladder.

• The bottom rungs? That’s where anxiety, fear, anger, and insecurity hang out. It’s not great down there, but weirdly, it feels sturdy - like overthinking is the responsible thing to do. (Spoiler: it’s not.)
• The top rungs are where all the good stuff lives: joy, love, creativity, compassion.

Here’s the thing: climbing the ladder isn’t about fixing what’s on the bottom rungs. It’s about letting go so you can naturally rise back up.

Jessie’s wisdom hit me hard. I realised that my constant need to figure out my anxiety was just me clutching the bottom rung. So, I made a decision: I’m done overanalysing. I’m climbing.

The Stories We Tell Ourselves

Jessie also hit me with another gem: when you’re anxious, you tend to have a go-to story you tell yourself. For me, it’s What are people thinking about me? It’s a classic tale of self-doubt, starring rumours, overanalysed conversations, and the fear that someone, somewhere, is judging me.

The worst part? It’s all in my head. Because when I’m in a good place emotionally, I don’t even think about it. Why? Deep down, I know the truth: most people are too busy starring in their own reality shows to be worried about me.

And honestly, that’s freeing.

The Liberation of “No One Really Cares”

Here’s the truth bomb: outside of your closest circle, most people don’t care about you in the way you think they do. They’re wrapped up in their own dramas, their own insecurities, their own reality. It’s not malicious; it’s just human nature.

This realisation was liberating. Sure, I still get caught in the “What are they thinking?” loop now and then - it’s a tough habit to break. But instead of avoiding situations that trigger those thoughts, I face them head-on...well, most of the time! Progress, right?

Ego vs. Self-Awareness

Let’s get real: this whole worrying-about-what-others-think thing? It’s kind of self-obsession, isn’t it? If everyone’s caught up in their own lives, stressing over their opinions is just me making it all about me. And that? That’s my ego talking.

Now, I know the ego isn’t all bad. It’s part of our identity, and it tries to protect us. But let’s be honest - it can also be a total idiot.

Take this example: It absolutely drives me up the wall when someone makes assumptions about me or spreads misinformation. My ego storms in, shouting, How dare they?! Then my rational side calmly asks, Really? Why are you letting this bother you so much?

If I’m honest, it bothers me because of my ego - it’s like a blow to my sense of self. But it also stings when I think about the people I care about who might be affected by those misunderstandings. So, what’s the takeaway here? Maybe it’s about finding a balance - letting my ego exist without letting it take control, while staying grounded in self-awareness.

Honestly, this whole ego vs. self-awareness thing could be a blog post on its own. But for now, I’ll leave it at that... although my head is buzzing!

The Art of Letting Go

I’ve come to realise something important: I can’t control how others see me. I can’t control their narratives, their assumptions, or their judgements. But what I can control? How I react to it.

So, I’m letting go. Letting go of the urge to explain myself to those who don't understand. Letting go of the need to be understood. Letting go of the energy spent on things that don’t serve me. And yes, it’s a process - so it’ll take time, right?

Wrapping It Up

So, what’s the takeaway? Life is too short to stay stuck on the bottom rung of the ladder. Love, creativity, and joy are waiting at the top, and that’s where I want to be.

Here’s to climbing higher, letting go of the stories that hold us back, and living a life that feels light and free.

Because at the end of the day, the top of the ladder is where the magic happens.