You know that feeling? That awful, sinking realisation that you completely overlooked something crucial? Like it was right there in front of you, yet somehow, you just didn’t see it?

That’s where I am right now.

I’m writing this on February 11th, and will I post it tomorrow? Maybe. Maybe not. But right now, as I sit here, I feel unbelievably awful.

Someone I care about deeply is struggling - more than I ever imagined. Not just having a tough time, but completely overwhelmed, questioning everything, even their own existence. And I didn’t see it coming.

How?

How did I miss this? How did it take them reaching such a dark place for me to realise? Just because they seemed okay, I assumed they were okay? Recently, I just thought they were being moody and distant. But I know this person. I know how much they carry. I know better.

But because they hadn’t said anything recently, because they hid it well, I let myself believe they were fine.

And that’s what really hurts.

I was so caught up in my own world - work, meetings, my daily routine - that I didn’t notice the signs. And now, I’m left with that gut-wrenching feeling that I should have done more. I should have created space for them to open up. I should have noticed.

But I didn’t.

And now, I’m angry at myself.

How naive of me to think they were suddenly okay. What world was I living in? You don’t just go from carrying a massive weight to being fine overnight. Just because someone looks okay on the surface or doesn’t bring it up doesn’t mean the pain is gone.

Seriously, how stupid of me to even think that?

Missing the Bigger Picture - Again

And this isn’t the first time I’ve done this.

The other week, I completely misread a situation. I was so convinced I was right that I mishandled the whole thing. And sure, I’ve learned from it - I know I won’t make that mistake again - but the frustration is hard to shake.

It’s been replaying in my head ever since. That nagging thought: How did I get it so wrong?

I was so sure of my perspective, so certain of my beliefs, that I didn’t stop to consider another side. And to make it worse, I was already stressed, which made it even harder to think clearly. But the second I realised I had been wrong, my heart sank.

What Else Have I Been Blind To?

These moments have made me question myself.

If I misread this, what else have I missed?

The truth is, you never really know what someone is going through beneath the surface. Ever. And the thing is, I know that. But did I act like I knew it? No. Because if I had, I wouldn’t have messed up the way I did.

You Can’t Fix People - But You Can Show Up

Look, I know you can’t fix people. I know that. I’ve read about it, I’ve experienced it, and I’ve learned the hard way that it doesn’t work.

But what you can do is create a space where people feel safe - where they know they can be honest, where they don’t have to pretend they’re okay. A space that makes life feel even a little bit easier to navigate.

And that’s something I need to figure out how to do. Because clearly, I haven’t been doing it well enough. Maybe I haven’t even been doing it at all.

Taking a Step Back

If I’m being honest, I’m struggling to deal with my own failings right now.

I’ve let people down when I should have done better.

When my thoughts start spiralling like this, I know I need to take a step back. I need to disconnect from the noise, reflect, and figure out how to actually learn from this.

That’s my plan - to give myself space to reset and find some clarity.

Right now, though? It feels unsettling. And I can’t shake it.

So, I’m stepping back. Stepping away from the noise. Trying to find my footing again. 🥀