I have to share this because it struck me on both a logical and emotional level. Last year, I attended an incredible retreat hosted by Wyn Morgan and Jessie Douglass-Smith McGraw (seriously, could that name be any longer? 😝). It was transformative, truly - it helped me work through parts of my life I had been struggling with, but in a way that went deeper than I ever expected.

They recently held another retreat in London, but I decided not to go, thinking, “I've already been; I know everything I need to know.” Then, I saw an Instagram story from someone who attended, sharing how this experience was completely different from the last. And that’s when this powerful nugget of wisdom hit me hard. Ready for it?

Most people cling to love based on attachment rather than genuine, pure love. Toxic attachment holds us back, while pure love - whether platonic or romantic - is healthy, positive, and life-giving. 🤯

This is so true. I've been thinking about this for ages. All my past romantic relationships have been based on attachment. When I think about the most fulfilling and rewarding relationships I have now, it's not based on attachment. It's based on love for the other person. Think about it. How amazing is the love you experience with your children, for example, or another close family member or close friend. That feeling of being completely safe with them and feeling happy and peaceful around them. Then if you think about a relationship where there's an element of unhealthy attachment there, you don't feel 100% safe, it can be turbulent and it doesn't fill you with peace and contentment.

When I was mulling this over, I was thinking that to experience pure love requires a level of vulnerability, which can feel genuinely terrifying. Being open in this way is uncomfortable because it exposes you to the possibility of rejection or hurt. Yet, if you shield yourself behind barriers that seem protective, you also close yourself off from the happiness and fulfillment that true openness can bring. I find being vulnerable easier than I used to but it's still blinking hard and sometimes (OK, a lot of the time) excruciatingly painful, but I know that it's the path to real connection and contentment.

Realising whether a relationship - whether with friends, family, acquaintances, or a partner - stems from genuine love or mere attachment is transformative. Simply having this awareness feels life-changing. Would this insight have struck me as deeply when I was younger? Likely not, as I wasn’t yet emotionally mature enough to separate logic from emotion, nor had I experienced the full spectrum of relationships that life has since shown me.

The takeaway? Pure love brings remarkable things. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to go hug a tree...