This week brought a few meaningful moments into my little corner of the world. One of them had to do with money. But, in true procrastinator fashion, I’ve decided to kick the can down the road and save my thoughts on wealth and finances for the New Year. I keep telling myself that I need time to organise my ideas into something valuable, actionable, and easy to follow.

Let’s be honest, though - I’ll probably wait until the last minute. Old habits die hard. But I will get it done, because one of my New Year’s resolutions is to stop procrastinating. They say procrastination is just a lack of discipline… or so I’ve heard.

In the meantime, another thought struck me this week: how differently people behave in groups compared to one-on-one. I’ve realised that I connect most deeply with others in quiet, one-on-one settings. Group dynamics? They can be fun - like in an exercise class where I can avoid being the centre of attention. But cliques? Definitely not my thing.

I get why people form them - it’s human nature to crave connection and a sense of identity. But there’s something about those exclusive, “in” groups that makes me uncomfortable.

In groups, people often shift their behaviour to fit in, and you don’t always get the real person. It’s only in one-on-one moments, when the pressure to perform fades, that someone’s true self shines through. That’s where the magic happens. You uncover their values, fears, dreams, and vulnerabilities - the stuff that really makes them who they are. And let’s face it, that’s the good stuff.

Of course, group interactions have their place - they’re fun and vital for social bonding. But if you want to truly know someone, step away from the crowd. A one-on-one conversation can reveal the beauty beneath the surface - the story behind the persona - and it’s almost always worth listening to. 

This week, I reconnected with someone I hadn’t spoken to in a while, and our conversation left an impression on me. It wasn’t what we talked about that made it so special - it was how they showed up. They were completely themselves. No pretence. No performance. Just them, being real.

It made me wonder: why do so many of us feel the need to be someone we’re not, especially when our true selves are so much more extraordinary? Maybe it’s fear - the fear that who we really are isn’t good enough, or the fear of being judged or rejected.

But here’s what I wish they could see - what is so obvious to me: their authentic self isn’t just enough - it’s everything. Their real, imperfect, unpolished self is infinitely more remarkable than any mask they could ever wear.

Which brings me to something Brené Brown wrote in Braving the Wilderness. She captures this idea perfectly:

“Belonging is being accepted for you. Fitting in is being accepted for being like everyone else. If I get to be me, I belong. If I have to be like you, I fit in.”

Boom. Mic drop.

True belonging starts within us. Before we seek it from anyone else, we have to get comfortable with ourselves - our quirks, our opinions, our truths. Too often, we chase group acceptance by trying to fit in, even if it means betraying who we are. But Brown challenges us to resist that urge, to stand firm in our truth, and to choose authenticity over conformity.

And let’s be real: authenticity isn’t easy. It’s messy and vulnerable. It often means standing out when you’d rather blend in, risking criticism, and walking away from the safety of the herd. But it’s also where the deepest, most meaningful connections live - relationships built on curiosity, vulnerability, and individuality.

So, as we head into the New Year, here’s a reminder for both of us: embrace your individuality. Practice self-compassion. Seek the connections that truly matter. And be brave enough to show up as your authentic self.

And who knows? Maybe I’ll even stop procrastinating along the way.

Maybe.