Recently, I had a realisation that really hit me: I’ve spent so much of my life chasing approval from others. And I know I’m not alone in this.

Let’s be honest, we’ve all been there. Waiting for the likes on a post, hoping for someone’s praise, or stressing over what others think. But here’s the thing - when we tie our self-worth to things we can’t control, like other people’s opinions or approval, we’re setting ourselves up for disappointment.

What I’ve come to understand, and what now feels so obvious, is this: the only approval that truly matters is your own.

The Masks We Wear

We all wear masks - different versions of ourselves to fit the moment. Maybe it’s pretending to be “fine” when we’re not, or acting confident when we feel anything but. These masks feel safe, like protection from judgement or rejection.

But over time, they become walls. They stop us from forming real connections.

Here’s the question I keep asking myself: Why do we wear these masks, even with the people who matter most?

The truth is, these masks are rooted in fear. Fear of being judged. Fear of rejection. But when we hide behind a persona, we miss out on the chance to form real, meaningful connections.

The Frustration of Disconnect

Have you ever felt like there’s a wall between you and someone else? Like you’re talking to a version of them, not the real them?

It’s frustrating, but also familiar. I’ve been on both sides of that wall. And what I’ve come to realise is this: the people I feel closest to are the ones who’ve let their guard down with me.

When someone shows you their real self - flaws and all - it’s transformative. Suddenly, their choices, behaviours, even their quirks, make sense. Vulnerability builds trust. It creates empathy.

My Struggle With Authenticity

Growing up, I felt deeply - sadness, frustration, vulnerability. But I saw those emotions as weaknesses. So, I built walls to hide them.

I remember thinking that joining the army might toughen me up, make me feel less. I wanted to be emotionally strong, especially since everyone else seemed to have it all together. (Looking back, I’m so relieved I didn’t join - I’m pretty sure it would’ve broken me rather than making me stronger!)

Instead, I became fiercely self-reliant. I told myself, If I don’t need anyone, no one can let me down or have power over my emotions. But here’s the thing: what I thought was strength was actually fear - fear of being vulnerable, fear of not being good enough.

The Freedom of Being Yourself

Over time, I’ve started to let go of that fear. I’ve embraced my passions, my imperfections, and my values. And as I’ve accepted myself, something amazing has happened: my connections with others have deepened and I feel more at peace.

Being vulnerable is scary - it can hurt. But when you let someone in and they see the real you, that’s where trust begins. And if they don’t like the real you? That’s okay. It just means they’re not your person.

Here’s the truth: the people who are meant for you will love you exactly as you are. Not the polished version. Not the persona. Just you.

My Challenge for You

So, here’s my challenge - for both of us:

When you embrace who you are, something incredible happens. The right people will find you, and your connections will transform.

So, take the leap. Be you. And watch your life change.

And if you need a little extra push to embrace your true self, remember this:

In three generations, no one will remember who you are or what you did. So, why not focus on living the best life you can, pursuing what truly brings you joy and fulfillment? Instead of seeking approval, invest your energy in what matters most to you - meaningful work, deep relationships, and the peace that comes from being your authentic self.

Live fully. Be yourself.